Prophetic dream?

I never dream. Or rather, I should say I never REMEMBER my dreams since it is a scientific fact that everyone dreams. When I wake up, occasionally I'll feel as if I should remember the dream or I'll remember a certain person that was in it or things along those lines. All wisps that disappear as soon as I think of them. I remember my dream from last night.

I'm at Coal Vine's, except that the building is different than the real one. Looks more like a coffee shop than a restaurant. Anyway, I'm working and I see outside a car speed up quickly and park nanometers from the back of my car, squealing the brakes. I see a guy get out and hurry towards the front door. I turn around and start walking away because I don't want to deal with whoever he is and tell the others I work with "Here comes a douchebag" (I know, I have such a lovely vocabulary). Anyway he walks in and I'm off to his right. He immediately walks to the cash register, pulls out a small gun, and demands for all our money. He's pointing the gun at the poor girl who happened to be standing next to the register. At this point I am positioned directly behind him. I feel frozen with my eyes wide open. My boss Jeff comes in from the back and we connect eyes. All I can do is give him the most shocked expression I have. He starts talking to the man with the gun in a calm voice, assuring him that we are getting him the money and motioning the girl to do whatever he says. Jeff's goal is to give him whatever he wants so he won't hurt anyone.

The man is young, of small stature, and Indian. He is acting very frantic and nervous the whole time, eyes wide, sweat running down his face, his eyes flicking every few seconds. As Jeff is talking to him and the girl is getting the money, I jumped at him and wrapped him in my arms. There is a brief struggle which lands me face to face with him, my arms still wrapped tightly around him. He's now only inches away from my face, with his gun pushing firmly against the back of my skull. Through this Jeff is exclaiming in the backround, saying things like "No Sarah" and "I had it taken care of" and the like. Because he was worried about his employees lives. But I was worried about this man's life.

His face is shaking and his eyes are even wider. I had taken him by surprise and although he knew that he should shoot me, he wasn't sure if he should. He was still working it out in his brain. He didn't expect anyone to come at him. That's when I started talking. I said "If you shoot me, I'm going to heaven. I will be eternally happy, I will never hurt again, I will never fear, I will be safe and content with my Lord and Saviour and everyone I love. I will be in paradise." At that point, he gasped and sobbed out "Paradise". I took that and ran with it "Yes, paradise. You know what paradise is. You want it. You desire it. You don't have to die to live in paradise! You can have it right now! God loves you more than anyone else. He wants you to be happy, He wants you to live in His paradise!" I just kept talking and as I was talking tears are running down his face and finally he's sobbing. I'm no longer wrapped tightly around him, I'm holding him up.

I don't remember anymore of the dream, other than I remember telling him I wouldn't leave him and I'd be with him to help him and that I wanted to be with him in the police car, visit him in jail, and help him through his trial.

Whoa. What a dream.

I'm not evangelistic by nature. I love people. I care for them. I want to love on them, cry for them, etc. But I don't really lean towards evangelizing to them. So this dream is very different for me.

Oswald Chambers talks about pouring ourselves out for Christ's satisfaction, that as Christians its not about serving God or about what we do for God but about pouring ourselves out to Him. I think this is hard for me to do completely.

Because I have 2 little fears in the back of my brain. 1. What if God asks me to do something and I misinterpret and piss someone off? Or fulfill their expectation of what a Christian is supposed to be like? For example, someone has a vision of Christians as pushy people and then I challenge them about living a life that is destructive...and now I've fulfilled their beliefs. Then I thought that maybe it's the person's own beliefs and issues that determine how I come across, not what God is asking me to do. 2. What if God asks me to do something that is life threatening? What if I die? I'm scared to die. Because if I die, all my hopes and dreams and plans can't happen.

I won't get married. I won't have kids. I won't finish school. I won't do mission work in other countries. I won't grow closer with my parents and siblings. I won't see my sisters and brother get married. I won't be an aunt or a grandma. I won't pay off all my debt.

So I started thinking about all my plans and dreams. I realized that I had to release those to God, every day. They can't ever be mine because I might decide NOT to obey Christ just so I don't lose my hopes and dreams. Things like getting married and having kids, those won't happen today. So I shouldn't think about them. I can grow close to my family today though. I can pay off some of my debt today. I can love people today. Those are hopes and dreams I can focus on. That is truly living as if today is my last day.

And then I started to think about it. Christ is my husband. I am already married. My children are whoever He asks me to love. My children are the people He will bring to Himself through me.

And suddenly I realized that its not about me giving up my hopes and dreams...it's realizing that He already fulfilled them.