"If anyone desires to come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me."Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Him. It's a three step process. And the whole thing is screwed from the beginning if you can't deny yourself, if you can't let go of your rights as a human, if you can't surrender your individuality to God's purpose.
- Matthew 16:24
But we're afraid. Our individuality is all we've ever known. It's faulty, sometimes we loathe it, but it's all we have. We know how it works, we're comfortable in our misery.
It's only when we lose our individuality that our true personality is able to come out. It's only when we surrender to Him who knows us better than ourselves that He can release all that is in us.
I have always been very self-reflective, very self-aware. It's been a blessing and a curse for years. It either helps me learn and grow or sends me into depressive, false realities. But even I, who am constantly reviewing my own thoughts, actions, and feelings, don't really know myself! I could write book after book after book about myself and STILL never scratch the surface.
It's very humbling to realize that, even with all this self-knowledge, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. It's very humbling to know that while I think I'm doing ok, maybe even succeeding in some areas, I'm no where near where I am supposed to be, where God planned me to be.
Crazy how the things we learn build on each other...how every day a new facet is added to it, new information realized, new revelation. And yet it all comes back to one thing...surrendering everything to be swept away by Him.
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