Honor

This past Sunday my pastor talked about honor. He used his brother's story of discovering that he didn't honor his wife as an example. His brother realized late in his marriage that he was expecting everyone to honor him and looking for them to honor him but never even thinking to honor anyone else. This was especially true with his wife, who he confessed was honoring him the entire time, he just couldn't see it.

It all got me thinking about my relationship with my parents. I grew up with a non-existent relationship with my parents, and my family for that matter. In my head, they were just the people I lived with. Nothing more, nothing less. It wasn't until I moved out of the house and away from my family that I began to develop a loving relationship with each person in my family. My mom and I have come a long way in the past 3 years in our relationship. But as I sat listening to my pastor talk about honor, I realized that even now I don't honor my mother.

I grew up thinking my mom was stupid. Little things she would do would frustrate me and I always wished she would be smarter or use her head. Her tendency towards forgetfulness drove me up a wall and when she didn't do things that I thought were common sense, I wanted to punch her in the face. Hence why we didn't have a relationship growing up. Thinking about it on Sunday, it occurred to me that my entire family has the same kind of attitude towards my mother. Especially my sister Elise, my brother Scott, and I think even my dad (we all are the same personality type, in contrast with my mother's and my sister Candace's personalities). In times of frustration, we all lash out at my mother because we see each other do it.

Not only should I not lash out at my mother in times of frustration, I shouldn't talk down to her or condescend to her. I shouldn't think that she is stupid or believe that somehow I think at a higher level than her. I even get mad when she suggests that she understands something more than me, that's how stupid I think she is. It's not right, it's not Christian, it's not fair, it's not loving.

One of the verses Paul used on Sunday was 1 Peter 5:5-6

"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He might exalt you."

Exhibiting humility corresponds with showing honor. I can't think of myself as higher up on the hierarchy than my mother, it's not biblical.

I wish Paul had continued in this passage, because I think it's huge what the next few verses say.

"casting all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you."
- 1 Peter 5:7

All the stresses and frustrations that come along with humbling myself can be thrown on Jesus back. A lot of times we pull this one phrase out of the passage and throw it around for any and every anxiety...which I don't think is necessarily wrong or untrue. But just understand what this little phrase is saying, right here in this passage! Humbling myself is painful. It's stressful. It means laying myself on the ground for people to kick me in the face and gut all day long. It means biting my tongue hard when I want to make someone else feel like dirt for what they did or said to me. It's worrying about someone else's life even while they are trying to destroy mine. All the anxieties that humbling myself entails can be laid at the cross. God doesn't just throw us into a war as kamikazes. He doesn't give us this command and then let us sink. He's right here with us, showing us a better way because He cares so much for us He doesn't want us stuck in the bondage of hate and bitterness.

"Be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."
- 1 Peter 5:8

This is how Satan devours you! By convincing you that it's a dog eat dog world out there, that you have to push people down before they push you down. By humbling yourself before others, by showing them honor no matter how they treat you, you are effectively slamming the door on Satan's nose and pushing real hard for effect.

"Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."
- 1 Peter 5:9

You are not alone in this. Every single person on the planet has this battle going on. Those who are not believers have already succumbed to the enemy and are now POW. Those of us who are believers may still be in the dark and struggling or have had this truth revealed to them and are fighting it as hard as they can. It takes the strongest person alive to hold their tongue and allow someone else to tear us limb from limb. Our strength is not the world's strength. We draw our strength from Him and His love, not from the murders of those around us.

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
- 1 Peter 5:10

We don't have to tear others down to receive honor. We don't have to demand that others supply us with the honor and respect and recognition we desire. If we humble ourselves, if we show honor to others without worrying about them showing honor to us, God will fulfill all. He will restore us after we have been cut down by those we know, He will confirm that we are special, that we are significant, and that we are loved. He will give us the strength and will to continue to humble ourselves, to plant our feet and take the next blow given to us. And He will establish us, lift us up to receive all the honor that He can bestow.

His honor is greater than any honor some silly human can give us. His glory and His praise and His acceptance is what we should seek. He is all there is, all that matters, all we need. Yet we continue to seek what He is giving us freely in other places, places that cost us dearly.