He Never Fails

I don't know why God continually uses Oswald Chambers to speak to me, but He does. Guaranteed, anytime I sit down with it God speaks directly to what I was thinking just a second ago. A couple days ago He answered my questions I had been asking Him about how to conduct myself with one of my friends. The next day He addressed my attitude at work. It doesn't matter what time of day it is or what I've experienced that day, when I turn to my devotional in My Utmost For His Highest, it always speaks directly to my heart. I've highlighted and underlined the crap out of that little book.

A few posts back I talked about my shadow mission and how it had kind of snuck up on me. Since that post, I have been trying to wrestle my spirit back into submission to Christ. I wanted to be back where I was at the beginning of the year. I wanted Jesus to be my Husband where recently He had turned into my Pastor, kind and caring and always ready to listen but not intimate. You know the difference. I wanted to fall asleep to Him whispering in my ear, not call Him on my way to work to ask Him to talk out a prayer request with Him. I wanted to look forward to going home and relaxing while I talk out the day with Him, not review His notes from the sermon on Sunday. Is the difference obvious? The latter choices aren't bad, but they aren't fully right either. They are things I still do with Christ, but I want so much more. I long for so much more. I need so much more. Especially now that I know there IS so much more, now that I have experienced that close-knit relationship, how can I live without it?

Purity is the result of continued spiritual harmony with God.
- Oswald Chambers

Purity is what I seek, purity is what I long for. God please give me that purity. I seek you every day, don't let me lose that desire in my heart. Don't let it ever go dim, don't let it ever fade away.

I'm reminded of the routine God gave me at the beginning of the year and I realize just how far off it I have gotten. A lot of things I had committed to do, a lot of things I said I wouldn't do and now I'm either doing what I said I wouldn't or not doing what I said I would.

If we want to maintain a personal intimacy with the Lord Jesus Christ, it will mean refusing to do or even think certain things. And some things that are acceptable for others will become unacceptable for us.
- Oswald Chambers

God gave me my routine for a reason. Has He told me to stop doing things that are dreadful? No, actually none of them are obvious, sinful things. But they do keep me, personally, far from Christ...at least at this point in my life. It's not a bad thing to hang out with friends when getting off work...but God has told me not to. It's not a bad thing to work hard, save up, and buy a nice new gadget or car or whatever...but God has told me not to. There is a very specific purpose God has for me, a purpose that He has to prepare me for. He has to discipline my body and my impulses, sharpen and hone my mind, and grow me spiritually. There is a woman that I am meant to become and God wants to mold me into her.

Thank You God that I always long for Your rest. Thank You that I always seek Your quiet. Thank You that I long for time to sit in Your lap, without saying anything. I know that as long as that desire, that yearning, that cry is deep in my heart and my soul, even though it pains me, I know I know I know that I will always come to You and I will never run away. God, let it be a leash on my heart to never leave Your side, to never desire anything else more than You. God if my heart strays, put up walls. "I need you like a hurricane, thunder crashing wind and rains", break through me Holy Spirit. Discipline me, break me, tear me apart, so that nothing is left but Your presence. Let nothing come above You in my life, in my life be lifted high!