Lent

This entire week has been a struggle. It's seemed like I've had more tendency to complain or to feel tired or anxious or scared. I have been waking up an hour and a half late every morning, if not later, and so have been thrown off my schedule every day. I'm missing out on my Jesus. I'm losing contact with Him. And I think I finally figured out why...I've been eating a ton of junk lately. There's this thing called a "food hangover." When you go to sleep, your body stops digesting. So if you eat a lot of junk that sits in your stomach or you eat right before you go to bed, when you wake up your body has to start digesting again. It makes you feel sluggish and exhausted in the morning. Which is exactly how I've been feeling and I think it's why I've been oversleeping. My body is tired of digesting crap!

But there are a lot of things in my life that have been slowly creeping in and are edging and pushing and making themselves a bigger part of my heart than they should be. I'm spending way too much time just playing around on facebook. I'm indulging myself way overboard with food. My entire satelite self is slowing being misaligned. I'm complaining more, my language is getting full of wasted words, I'm seeking validation,

Lent is a season of soul-searching and repentance. It is a season for reflection and taking stock. Lent originated in the very earliest days of the Church as a preparatory time for Easter, when the faithful rededicated themselves and when converts were instructed in the faith and prepared for baptism. By observing the forty days of Lent, the individual Christian imitates Jesus’ withdrawal into the wilderness for forty days.
- Reverend Ken Collins.

This year, Paul Mints (my pastor) has asked our church to celebrate Lent. I'm excited because I know the end result is to be closer to God. I'm excited because I am not happy with where I am right now and I know it is because of my own actions.

Dejection stems from one of two sources - I have either satisfied a lust or I have not had it satisfied...it is impossible to be well physically and be dejected.
- Oswald Chambers

That's exactly how I feel. Dejected. And it is because I have been indulging and satisfying the lusts of my heart instead of surrendering completely to my Lord Jesus Christ.

Are we prepared to pay the price of sanctification? The cost will be a deep restriction of all our earthly concerns, and an extensive cultivation of all our godly concerns. Sanctification means to be intensely focused on God's point of view. It means to secure and to keep all the strength of our body, soul, and spirit for God's purpose alone.
- Oswald Chambers

I can't wait for Lent. There is so much weighing me down from jumping into His arms. There is so much just plain wrong with life right now. I can't wait until February 17th to feel His embrace again. God I want You near, I want You here, I want You now. I need You above everything else.

For my own personal and spiritual growth, I want to abstain from meat. I want to eat fresh, healthy foods and get out of this perpetual food hangover. When Lent comes, I will give up facebook. This way, when it is time for Lent my body will be purged and the time I will have since I won't be on facebook I can fully give to God because I won't be dragging.

"For what do I have if I don't have You Jesus, what in this life can mean anymore. You are my rock, You are my glory, You are the lifter of my head."
- "Cry of My Heart", Starfield