Are You Willing?

"If I am poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you."
- Philippians 2:17

I think this is a huge part of our Christian walk, to pour ourselves out and not just for the spread of the gospel or in our private times with God. We also need to pour ourselves out for fellow believers, to support their ministries. Primarily we pour ourselves out to God, because He is our provider and our protector and our lover and our supplier. Pouring ourselves out to Him ensures that we can pour ourselves out to everyone else. Secondly we pour ourselves out to non-believers. Paul Mints, the pastor at my church, calls this Invest and Invite. You invest in someone's life or pour yourself out to show them the love and acceptance they can find in Christ and then invite them to explore who God is and what He wants for them. But finally, and I think maybe this one is missed, we are to pour ourselves out to our fellow believers and their ministries.

The problem I think is that we are essentially selfish creatures. A friend gets a call or confirmation from God and is really excited about what is coming. We may share in that excitement but not prayerfully consider joining and supporting our friend's ministry. We have our own ministries to deal with right? Our own agendas, however spiritual they may be. Or if we do jump on our friend's bandwagon, perhaps it is because we see the great potential in it and we want to be in there from the beginning, if we can't claim to be called to it directly from God.

Are you willing to sacrifice yourself for the work of another believer - to pour out your life sacrificially for the ministry and faith of others? Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket - to be so totally insignificant that no one remembers you even if they think of those you served? Are you willing to give and be poured out until you are used up and exhausted - not seeking to be ministered to, but to minister?
- Oswald Chambers

I confess that I struggle with this. I want to be recognized. I want attention. I want spotlight. I want my story to be heard. When I worship, I want people to see me and be amazed at how I worship. When I speak, I want people to take note to what I say. I want someone to think my story is amazing and want to tell everyone about me. I want to be that person that is asked to share during one of the sermons. I want someone to listen to my ideas for ministry and provide funding/support to help me get it started.

I feel very pathetic admitting that. But it is true, I am constantly aware of everyone around me and constantly want to be noticed by them. God is showing me in this year how to be satisfied completely in Him and not be desperate for human attention every second of every day. But the stronghold hasn't been broken and I am still fighting the battle.

I did reach a place recently where I could honestly say I wanted to be completely poured out for whatever purpose God had for me, that I just wanted Him. I'm not sure how I got out of that place or how to get back other than to just seek Him. But I want to get back. I think maybe I'm holding onto myself again which is what's stopping me.

"It's hard to surrender to what I can't see, but I'm giving in to something heavenly."
- Sanctus Real, "Whatever Your Doing"