It is interesting to me that Matthew starts off his book with the genealogy of Abraham to Joseph, Jesus' father. But Joseph isn't literally Jesus' father, Joseph is the adopted father. Because Mary was with child from the Holy Spirit, not from Joseph. None of Joseph's DNA was a part of Jesus. so I don't know why it matters that Joseph is a descendant of Abraham and David. Because that lineage stops at Joseph and doesn't continue to Jesus.
Joseph really is a class act. There couldn't have been a better man chosen to marry Mary (saying that out loud sounds funny). That's how they did marriages back then, the parents chose their son to marry another set of parents daughter. So these parents, Joseph's and Mary's, met together, probably several times. They discussed who their son/daughter was, the character and skills and mannerisms. The offer is made, would you allow your daughter to marry our son? Mary's parents have thought about it a lot and have come to the decision that, yes, Joseph would be a fine choice for their daughter.
So after all this deliberation, the parents are pleased with the match and are busy with the final preparations, all of a sudden Mary seems to have gained a lot of weight. And soon it is obvious that she is pregnant. Her parents must have given her a lip-lashing, grilling her on who the other man was and how could she shame her family like this. How do you tell your parents that you're still a virgin, in fact you are pregnant with the Saviour of the world? Even if Mary did tell her parents that, you know what her parents were probably thinking? The Son of God would never come in such a disgraceful manner. He wouldn't be born to a sinful girl like you. Everything Mary has ever done wrong would immediately scroll through her parents brains and while they love their daughter and believe her to be a great girl, suddenly they would remember every sin she committed. And it would just be impossible.
Mary's friends, what would they think? I imagine she would have at least one friend that would remain true. She'd accept Mary, even though she thinks she committed adultery. She may beg Mary to reveal who the secret lover is, and be put out when Mary continues to insist that there is no other man. Mary's friend would think that Mary is holding out on her, lying to her face. Trust would be gone, and eventually the friendship would dissolve. Mary would be all alone, no peers who believe or respect her anymore. She was probably shunned from her community and her family would be intent on hiding her away, hoping that everyone would forget her sin and shame wouldn't befall the whole family.
Joseph had to be crushed as well. His parents had told him about Mary. Maybe they had met at this point, maybe they hadn't. But he knew about her. He knew her sweetness, her loving kindness, he heard how others who knew her described her. He agreed with his parents that she was a wonderful choice. He was fully prepared to open his arms to her, to draw her into his life, to love her as God loved him. And then it comes out...she's pregnant.
Anger. Shame. Frustration. Disbelief.
How could she? Joseph would feel cut to the core. Betrayed. Who was this other man? Why was he so much better, that Mary had to have him instead of Joseph? Who was this man, that would take another man's future wife? Joseph had attached himself to Mary, in front of the whole community, and she went and embarrassed him to the very center of his being. How could he love such a woman? How could he have sex, have children, make love to a woman who had been held, kissed, who was having another man's baby? How could Joseph look into the eyes of this woman and believe anything she told him? How could he see another man's child every day and not resent him?
Even with all these emotions running through him, Joseph decides to divorce Mary. The most gracious thing he could do. Instead of demanding her death, instead of pursuing his rights as a man betrayed, he has mercy on Mary and decides to spare her any more humiliation by just breaking off the marriage.
In the middle of all this pain, suffering, confusion, drama, hurt, betrayal, lies, etc...in the middle of all this, Christ is born. In this seemingly torn story, God brings redemption. God comes to Joseph and to Mary and says "I am here. I am real. Trust my story."
